I’ve been in business for 3 years now. It’s been an interesting time for me as I never set out to own my own business, or even to be a photographer. Photography was a passion that came about sort of organically. I “retired” from my marketing job 7 years ago when we moved from Seattle, Washington to Castle Rock, Colorado. I became a full time stay-at-home-mama (SAHM), something I secretly always wanted to be but never even dreamed I’d be able to do. Thanks to my dear, hard working hubs, some frugal money management, and changing from city-folk to suburban-folk, we were able to make it happen. And I loved being a SAHM. I truly did. I loved doing crafts and playing trains with my son (eventually sonS), making homemade meals, having tidy stacks of laundry and a clean house, gardening and being, in general, very involved and active in my sons’ lives. I did not miss the corporate world or the city-life AT. All. BUT…I was lonely. Very lonely. Shawn was working long days, even commuting to Boulder during part of those early days, and I knew no one. I was isolated in a town I wasn’t familiar with, and having to recreate who I was and what my role was in this life.
Moving to a new state, knowing very few people, and being by my lonesome with a one year old for the first time in my life was not easy. I really hit a sort of “rock bottom” after our 2nd son was born, a year after moving to Colorado. But around that time we moved into a home. I found a playgroup of friends I actually liked being around and neighbors who were fun and easy going. I was discovering a social side of myself that had lain dormant for quite awhile. I also discovered that just being a mother was not enough to sustain a friendship. I needed to have things in common with my mom-friends. I needed to feel safe with them. I needed to be able to laugh with them and let them see my tears.
So fast forward a few years. I discovered my love of photography. My friends tolerated a camera in their kiddos’ faces on a constant basis. They tolerated my up and down emotions as I began my business and went through all my highs and lows with me. They cheered me on – constantly. They offered advice and critique in the most positive of ways. They watched my children so I could take on jobs I wasn’t sure I was ready for but that they knew I was. They watched my children and fed my children and welcomed my children into their homes just as an auntie would do, and I trusted them and relied on them more than I ever thought I would. They hired me for their own family portraits and recommended me consistently to friends, and friends of friends, and cousins of husbands. Beyond Shawn and my own mother, my friends have been my biggest fans and supporters. They have become my cheerleaders, and when necessary, surrogate mamas for my boys, and I’m forever grateful for that.
So I hear other photographers talk about never giving away their work. NEVER offering free sessions to anyone out side of their very immediate family. That somehow offering to work for free devalues our work and our talents. I heard this from so many local and far away photographers. I tried to live by it. Of course, they were right, my talents are worth something. And I’m always thrilled and excited that I am fortunate to be paid for doing something I absolutely adore and love. But you know what is worth more than that? My children being safe and secure so I can pursue a passion and a dream. My children feeling secure with people who don’t even share a gene pool. Knowing that while I’m capturing beautiful memories for a family, my own family is taken care of.
My boys love going to Lisa’s house to play light sabers with her children (and yes, I will be slightly dissapointed if in 25 years one of my boys doesn’t marry her lovely sweet girl who I love as much as I could any daughter of my own). Lisa has the best snacks and the sweetest heart. And Carissa and Gidget are like aunts to my boys, giving them love and attention just as they would their own kiddos. It makes me feel so secure that my boys can hop out of my car and into any of their homes without skipping a beat, and I know that they’ll be happy and well taken care of while I’m away – whether it’s for an hour shoot, or a full day of preschool portraits.
So here’s the deal. I could hire a babysitter that my kids barely know to watch them during all the sporadic times that neither I nor my husband can be around to care for them, or I can provide free portraits for my friends, whom I adore and love. I can capture children who have become like cousins to my boys. Children who I have watched grow from being in their mama’s womb to their first days of kindergarten. You can’t put a price on that kind of love. Unconditional, and not at all expected or required. And that, my friends, is why my friends get free portraits and I don’t blink an eye about the potential money lost. Gained love is worth so much more than that.
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Amy! That was so beautiful and sweet! XOXO
Great story, and I absolutely believe in why you do this.
I have a rule called the “would I give you a kidney” rule. If I would, no charge and you get a disc of edited images for free. If I wouldn’t, full price.
Now, some of the friends I shoot for free I may not LITERALLY give a kidney to, but I’d seriously entertain the idea. I have this litmus test because people I barely know were asking for free shoots. They’re not real friends, but were pretending to be.
These friends of yours sound more like sisters. They have been there for you in multiple ways. You are so lucky to have this support system of people who are legitimately cheering you on. I think that’s what many of us who say “I don’t shoot friends for free” lack. I have done a few free shoots with people who said they were going to recommend me to “everyone” and then went on to recommend other photographers (plural) alongside me. Jaded, yes. And that’s why I have the kidney rule.
Keep doing what you are doing, and don’t apologize! Everyone’s business is different, and you are doing great.
x
Thank you for your sweet comments. Definitely I will never apologize for giving portraits to my dear friends. I do have an amazing support system and feel very, very blessed by them in my life. I know I wouldn’t have the business I have without their friendship, support and love!